The Untamed AF Blog

 

WTF is EMDR for real?!

 

In the world of mental health, innovative kick-ass therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) have revolutionized how we approach healing from trauma.

 

Francine Shapiro, a psychologist in 1987, stumbled upon the magic of eye movements by pure chance while walking in a park. As she moved her eyes back and forth, she noticed her own stress symptoms seemed to chill out. After rigorous testing and research, Shapiro developed EMDR as the structured reprocessing approach that has evolved into the globally recognized therapy method we use today, helping countless peeps kick their past traumas to the fucking curb and reclaim their lives.

 

 

EMDR harnesses the brain's inherent healing mechanisms through a structured technique which includes recalling distressing events while performing bilateral stimulations, i.e. eye movements, tapping, sounds or EMDR equipment like what I use, such as light bar, buzzers or headphones.

 

This evidence-based method lessens the emotional intensity associated with traumatic memories, facilitating a mental detox that aids many of my clients in moving past their emotional hurdles regaining an unapologetic sense of self.

 

 

Unlike traditional talk therapies that engage the conscious mind, which I am NOT knocking as I use many of them in my practice, EMDR taps into the deeper emotional and neurological level.  It’s basically your brains way of processing the emotional shit that has been bogging you down so you can finally move forward without it.

 

 

 

But how can EMDR transform the way YOU feel and function as a whole?

 

It isn't just about dealing with specific traumatic memories; it’s a full-on upgrade for your emotional processing hardware, transforming the way you feel and function as a whole.

 

 

 

1. Reshapes Emotional Responses & Boosts Healing from Trauma

 

 

When you dig into the deep, tangled origins of trauma with EMDR, it’s like pulling weeds out by the roots instead of just trimming the tops. You’re not just slapping a band-aid on your symptoms; you’re doing the heavy lifting to rewire HOW your brain reacts to triggers. This means those old trauma responses—like sudden bursts of anger, paralyzing anxiety, or out-of-nowhere crying spells—start to lose their grip.

For instance, imagine you’ve got a history of feeling abandoned, and it shows up in your adult life as panic every time someone you care about doesn’t text back right away. Without EMDR, this panic hijacks your emotional responses—you’re spiraling into thoughts of being unworthy, unloved, or even catastrophizing that you’ll be alone forever. But when you work through that trauma with EMDR, you’re not just soothing that specific moment; you’re rewiring your brain to understand that a delayed text isn’t a life-or-death situation. Instead of your emotional brain hitting the panic button, it learns to chill and stay calm.
 

So down the road, when something similar happens, you’re not having an unexpected emotional breakdown. You’re rolling with it, more resilient, and able to self-regulate instead of spiraling. This process makes you feel sturdier in the face of life’s BS, like you’ve got a mental suit of armor that protects you from those old wounds reopening every time life doesn’t go your way.

 

 

 

2. Enhances Self-Perception

 

 

Often, trauma leaves you with a skewed self-image. EMDR can help you ditch those negative core beliefs about yourself, replacing them with a stronger, more positive self-view. As you feel better about yourself, it will reflect in your interactions and personal decisions.

 

 

Imagine you're at the eye doctor, sitting in that weird chair, staring at the exam board that’s blurry as hell. The doc starts flipping through lenses, one click at a time, and with each adjustment, things slowly start to clear up. That’s basically what EMDR does, but for your mind. It’s like the eye doctor for your messed-up, negative beliefs.

 

At first, all you see are the distorted, shitty thoughts about yourself—the "I’m not good enough," "I’m unlovable," or "I’m a failure" type of BS. Then EMDR steps in, flipping through the mental lenses one by one, reprocessing those crappy beliefs. With every mental adjustment, the fog lifts and you start to see yourself clearly and unfiltered, as you start to recognize the true, positive beliefs about yourself that were always there but hiding behind all those negative core beliefs.

 

 

 

FUN FACT: Negative core beliefs are lying ass bastards that don’t even belong to us—they’re hand-me-downs from all the dysfunctional messages we soaked up from our environment, family, caregivers, and society throughout our developmental years. These beliefs aren’t truths; they’re just the twisted reflections of other people’s insecurities, biases, and bullshit expectations that got dumped on us. They sneak in when we’re too young or vulnerable to question them, and suddenly, we’re walking around carrying everyone else’s crap as if it’s our own personal handbook.

 

Spoiler alert: Those beliefs? They’re just garbage. They don’t define who the hell you really are.

 

 

 

3. Improves Relationships

 

When you’ve got your emotional regulation on point and a healthier view of yourself, your relationships get a serious glow-up. You’re not flying off the handle at the slightest provocation or spiraling into a pit of self-doubt every time something goes sideways. Instead, you respond to challenges with a level head, which keeps shitshows in check.

 

For example, let’s say your partner forgets to do something important—like picking up the kids or calling you when they said they would. If you’ve got your emotions in check, instead of instantly jumping to “they don’t care about me,” you pause, breathe, and approach the situation with empathy. Maybe they were genuinely overwhelmed or just spaced out. You’re able to communicate your feelings without launching into World War III, and they feel heard instead of attacked all because you are coming from a place of self-command by acceptance of yourself on a deeper level.

 

This kind of emotional maturity not only keeps conflicts manageable but also builds trust and deeper understandings in those heavier moments, allowing us to resolve conflict smoother and with empathy.

 

 

 

 

4. Encourages Overall Mental Health

 

EMDR doesn’t just put out the fires of your immediate symptoms; it goes deeper, creating a mental environment where well-being isn’t just a fleeting moment but a new baseline. This holistic improvement isn’t about just making the bad stuff less bad—it’s about building you up in all the ways that help you actually thrive. With EMDR, you’re not only untangling those old traumas but also developing better coping skills that make life’s everyday stressors feel less like constant uphill battles.

 

 

Let’s say you’ve always felt overwhelmed in high-pressure situations, like at work or in personal relationships. Before EMDR, your go-to coping strategy might’ve been shutting down, snapping at others, or self-medicating with whatever numbs the discomfort. But EMDR doesn’t just lessen that immediate urge to react poorly; it rewires how you manage those stressors in the first place. You start to approach situations with a calmer mindset, not because you’re magically zen AF, but because your brain isn’t carrying all that unprocessed trauma anymore.

 

 

This new perspective can lead you to better stress management—you’re recognizing when you’re overwhelmed sooner, setting boundaries without guilt, and practicing self-care that actually replenishes you. Instead of seeing every obstacle as a mountain, they start to look more like manageable hills. And with these new skills, your overall outlook on life shifts.

 

 

You’re not just surviving; you’re actively engaging in life with a sense of hope, resilience, and positivity that you maybe never thought was possible. It’s not about eliminating every bad day but building a life where the good days feel more frequent, and the bad days don’t hit quite so hard.

 

 

 

EMDR is the difference between living in survival mode and thriving like the badass you are. If you’re tired of being hijacked by the past, maybe it’s time to flip the script on those old stories an rewrite your narrative so you can start living life on your own damn terms, Un-FUCKING- Apologetically!